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I was choked and had my butt kicked!

Well this will be a short one since I’m recovering from choking during an audition and getting my acting butt kicked! Lol–what, you didn’t think I was actually choked and beat up, did you? Awww–you did! Well I appreciate the sentiment. Really I do! In reality, I auditioned at SJREP (Yeah, my place of work!) and unfortunately I fell short.

I was 3/4 through my monologue when suddenly…BLANK–my throat felt constricted, my palms started to sweat up (believe it or not, I was pretty calm walking in there) and the hairs on my back stood on ends. How could this be?! I’ve recited/experienced this monologue many times over the past few weeks. Then I realized the key ingredient. This was the FIRST time I’ve ever performed it to anyone. Oi vey.

If I feel I absolutely must dwell on a poor performance at an audition, I’m in the habit of only allowing myself five to ten minutes, tops. In this case, it rested on my head, chest, abdomen, thighs–gah, everywhere, for a solid two hours. The fact that I work here and that I see and hold conversations with Bruce, our casting director must have confused the butterflies in my stomach to, instead of perform aerial ballet, kamakazi into my stomach lining. It felt weird! To say the least.

The two hours are up, it’s time to move on and knock another down for experience, even if it was a smidgen bit embarrassing.

#choked #constantinstanislavski #monologue #sanjoserepertorytheatre

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